Fear Part 2

All my life I have struggled with fear.  I wonder how some people can be so fearless and afraid of nothing.  Not me.  I find myself in fear quite often.

What kind of things am I afraid of? 

#1 I’m afraid of flying.  I don’t mind flying around North America, but I’m terrified to fly overseas.  As soon as the plane is over the ocean, I start fearing.  I start imagining the plane crashing into the ocean.  Every noise, every bump I start wondering what is wrong with the engine. 

I once flew from Calgary to London, England and I spent a good 25 minutes in the bathroom terrified and throwing up.  Last year, me and Ben went to Indonesia, 14 hours across the pacific!!!  Just before we left for Indonesia, we knelt beside the bed and we prayed for me, I was terrified!  I remember stepping onto the Boeing 737 leaving Los Angeles for Taiwan.  It felt like the scariest thing I had ever done.  And you know what?  When my foot crossed from the gate to the aircraft, I won the victory over fear. I was committed, no turning back and I had to face my fear.

  

And do you know what?  Everytime, God came through, and all of those planes landed, just as they were supposed to.

So now I’m pregnant and afraid.  I’m afraid of childbirth, I'm afriad of surgery.  I’m not good with blood and doctors and hospitals.  Like I said, I’m not a ‘fearless’ person like so many others around.

But I finally realized after 35 years, that I can’t let fear control my life.  I was terrified to fly to Indonesia, but I couldn’t let fear take away my blessing of our fun vacation.  And, we had fun in Indonesia, and looking back, I barely remember those scary 14 hours on the plane.

I have so many good stories about being in Indonesia.  I went to Africa twice and Europe about three times.  Everytime I was scared, but everytime it was worth it. 

Pregnancy and childbirth are terrifying to me.  I am so afraid of childbirth.  But I can’t let fear take away the blessing of a baby.  I know it will be scary, but I can't wait to see my little baby.  I've been with him all day every day for over 8 months now.  I can wait to finally see him. 

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. 

Psalm 42:5